On December 1st 2011, little Squish joined our family. He was tiny and beautiful and extremely easy. Over the next few months I found things harder and harder to cope with. At a year old, Chaos was becoming ever more demanding and mobile whilst Squish made the demands of any baby. Added to which, 11 year old Big had suddenly decided to turn into a tweenager without warning! I was really struggling. I spoke to the doctor who advised me to take anti depressants as he thought I had “quite serious Post Natal Depression and exhaustion”
I have always found it therapeutic to write things down, just to unclog my mind really and we were on the computer one evening, my husband suggested I start blogging. He said it would give me an outlet for everything (also to save bending his ear!) and it may also help someone else going through the same thing. I spent hours and hours setting up my page as I had never done anything like this before. I put my first post on my blog on 28th Febuary 2012.
I started taking anti depressants on 1st March and blogged every day about how I was getting on. Sometimes I would blog twice or more a day. I remember I used to think of my blog as a friend “Oh, I’ll have to tell them that later on” I guess it sounds a bit crazy but I used to have so many thoughts buzzing round my head that it was hard to concentrate on anything else.
Very quickly, it became my release. As soon as the kids were in bed I would fire up the laptop and start tapping away. I was addicted almost. I never went a day without posting or making a blog badge or reading other posts. I NEEDED to blog.
All the challenges and linkys gave me something to think about other than how awful I was feeling. It rekindled my love of photography as many links involved photos. I did a month of me, where I took a photo of myself every day. After a couple of weeks looking wretched I thought I should be a bit more creative and went OUTSIDE! It also made me make more of an effort with my appearance.
Then I started walking the dog with my camera. I gradually got over my panic of leaving the house and the feeling that everyone was starting at me. My page views started to increase as I wasn’t moaning about myself all the time. This in turn boosted my confidence. I started to write about other things like my culinary Katastrophes, books I was reading, I joined a few gift swaps and craft projects, I shared new things the boys could do, I even did a few reviews.
I am really proud of my little blog. I started out thinking it would be too boring for people to bother with. Over this past year it has helped me through so much. I have met so many wonderfully kind, like minded people. I have made penpals. I have taken up crafting again. I have learnt how to do some pretty cool things that I never imagined I could. I have even drafted out my first two childrens books! I love it. I doubt it will ever reach the dizzy heights alongside the likes of Mammasuarus but I’m happy with how it is. I can take it or leave it these days without any pressure. I did go through a phase of trying to get higher ratings and views but not now, it’s too stressful. I have found the balance of blogging and life. I don’t think you can successfully have one without the other.
I would just like to add that my husband was wonderful, actually he still is! He never complained about how much time I was blogging. He would be writing scripts and filming on the PC. All he asked was that we be in the same room so we were still in each others company. He was supportive as my page views slowly increased and as I gained followers. He read my posts before I published them and helped me to understand HTML codes a bit better.
A year on he is now a little miffed that I have more followers and page views than him, teehee. I made him a rather cool Doctor Who badge for his blog to cheer him up. He was the first to know and there to spin me round when I found out I had been nominated for the MADs last week. I don’t think I would have made it through the last year without him or his blogging suggestion. Think he’s a keeper ;o)
Thank you so much for sharing Kat! If anyone else has a story to tell drop me a line at email@example.com